Dear Dean:

I am sure you probably are thinking how you got in this mess? You seem to want to be loved and accepted by this woman at any cost. She has already cost you your relationship with your children, your dignity, your self esteem, your PEACE... Since you are not living with her I do not understand why you keep allowing her to rip your heart out. She is being as abusive and as blunt as she can be. Do not fall for her I love you and I miss you. It is shallow. Putting her aside.. how can YOU love a woman who can be so cruel to your own children? I know you love them and you should send her packing for the abuse of them alone. Do not feel responsible because you brought her here to a country. She is doing a fine job taking care of herself and her needs. She obviously puts herself first and does not care what happens to you or your children. Why should you feel in any shape or form, obligated to her? You say you miss her. Why? She does nothing but abuse you. What could you possibly miss? And yet after all this you are telling her to go and get a boyfriend. You are still discounting yourself and wanted everything for her!!! Please, please I beg you. Worry about you for a while. Get use to the idea that she only wants you when she wants you. Start to make a new life for yourself. Spend time with your daughters who deserve your love. Go out with friends. Go to counseling. Take a vacation. Go play singles volleyball. In other words, get this selfish woman out of your life once and for all and start to make yourself happy. She has got you so sucked into this craziness that you are not thinking logically and are setting for soooooo much less than you deserve. I very rarely tell people that they should move on in a relationship unless I really feel that it is almost the final straw but I think this is your only sane option. If you want to salvage anything left in yourself.. you need to get miles away from this woman and never think of her again. Go tell your daughters that you apologize for allowing her to treat them like this and you will never allow this again. I think they need to hear this because I have a feeling they are hurting too. I am not trying to be mean to you but I do think that this relationship is dangerous for you as well as your children.. the ones that truly love you. Once you get out of this chaos and heal and perhaps find someone who is worthy of your devoted love...you are going to look back on this and think...was I nuts for putting up with this? Please.. you are a good person who deserves so much more and I truly hope you get it! Take care and start today!!! You will be so much happier. Let her go back to Sweden.